Action for Happiness - Something for Everyone in the 10 Keys to Happier Living
Our South Tees Wellbeing Network is now 10 weeks past launch, at nearly 500 members strong, and is made up of employees and volunteers who help people out in many ways to improve their life satisfaction or some might say, wellbeing or happiness.
I have no idea how many people in South Tees know about the evidence base for happiness and wellbeing, but the variety of interventions, services and activities locally go a long way in helping people. The question I border on obsession with most days is, what can and what do people do themselves that helps prevent mental health problems?
Action for Happiness is an international movement whos mission is to promote a happier world, through a culture that prioritises happiness and kindness. On their website they have their 10 keys to happiness called GREAT DREAM which is an evidence based approach, built upon the foundation of the five ways of wellbeing. In other words, its a list of 10 area of activities you can do, which science says, the more you do, the more resilience you can develop to mental health problems and other struggles in your life. Who doesn’t want that?
Aside from it being my job to promote these types of ideas, I’ve had a lot of personal success with Mental Health and my own journey using the 10 keys and thought it may be useful to share my experiences; so what are these 10 keys? If you want a video version from the campaign, here’s one below; read on for my own take on them.
The 10 keys to Happier Living are Giving, Relating, Exercising, Awareness, Trying Out, Direction, Resilience, Emotions, Acceptance and Meaning.
For me, a combination of some of these, maybe not always all of them, but at least some of them in your life will give you and those you work to support, plenty of ideas for activities to help stay mentally healthy.
You may never have thought about these areas as being things you can do which help you grow and develop to become more resilient in life. In a tough world, lets make things easier for ourselves by helping ourselves and others. Many global or national issues are things that can be out of our control but much is within our reach that many people do nothing with. We need to activate these areas where we have power and influence and enjoy the results. Try writing your own notes under the 10 keys and see where it leads you and those you work to support.
Each area is linked to the Action for Happiness website where you can find actions you can complete today to get started. Try them!
Acts of kindness make us feel valued, and can make us happier. In my work with men’s health and as someone who lots of people are aware of as a Mental Health First Aider, I am often having conversations to support people struggling with something threatening their wellbeing; and more than anything, I get very motivated by helping others to help themselves; and encourage self education on life issues more than anything. I’ve done voluntary work for my men’s health campaign, my tri club and help out my own family with little jobs here and there which are always appreciated; helps me and is flexible around my own me time.
RELATING
Psychology constantly reminds us that we are pre-wired for connection and if only one positive came out of lockdowns, its the reported increase in individual awareness in how important connection is to our happiness. We did help each other out in our communities, we made extra efforts to reach out to people and maybe we became more conscious of how the little acts of kindness helps others. What’s more, it helps us. In my life, I maintain a small but close group of friends and between all of us, we have supported each other through the tough times; a chat, a shoulder to cry on and so on; priceless.
EXERCISING
Active lifestyles and exercise, whether sports or just for fun are full of benefits, and evidence suggests is equally or more effective than anti depressants in helping lift us out of depression. Given that we now know as close to certain that ‘chemical imbalances cause depression’ is a myth, its time to admit, as uncomfortable as it may seem, that we should consider things other than being good pill takers to help us out with depression or feelings of anxiety. Yes, they help (the evidence bears this out) but perhaps the added benefits of exercise, maybe done in nature helps our heart health, can prevent obesity and manage weight as well as being an opportunity to socialise is a better option for some of us in the long term. For me personally, I exercise to stay mentally and physically healthy, with triathlon being my chosen sport. I also loved hiking, walking my dogs and hitting the gym to stay strong and flexible for my ‘solo’ sport.
This used to be called appreciation in the 10 keys but has expanded to awareness, of our own attention in helping us to be mindful of our thoughts and stay grounded in the here and now. Where our thoughts and subsequent worries can be sat in the past or the future, awareness of self and the here and now isn’t just about meditating, but about practicing mindful living, the very practice of attention on the here and now; helping to keep your mind on the place and time you occupy now. The result is a calmer mind basically and one more able to stay focused and deal with difficult situations with a calmer thought process. It works. I start the day with some stretches, journaling, 5-10 minutes reading and some silent time (a challenge for me), with breathwork and often some meditation. Its a great way to start the day, inspired by my colleague, Sharon who told me about Hal Elrods Miracle morning book and app.
Keep learning was one of the original 5 ways to wellbeing and is here in the expanded form of not just learning, but being willing to try new experiences, whatever our age. I prefer non fiction books, about life experiences, psychology, science and autobiographies of people I admire. I even got to meet Russell Brand this year when I saw him live at the brilliant new renovated Stockton Globe. If i hadn’t read a couple of his books, listened to his podcasts and opened my mind to the thinking of the people he interviews, I may never have experienced this amazing moment. Letting go of your worries and embracing your vulnerability can really help you stay more resilient and promote your happiness. Be curious, ask questions, take interest in people, places and topics you have an interest in. Who knows where it may lead…
Many people know the power of goal setting and the importance of having hope, meaning and purpose to help maintain good mental health, one of the ways to feel and experience these are to simply set goals. Not only can it make you feel better right now, it also guides your actions, your intentions, and this includes actions of activities you undertake in the other areas of the ten keys. An example might be a college course, a concert, a home improvement, a trip with a friend, a hike with family, all of which in themselves give you something to look forward to, aim for and that is all upwards. For me, to do a triathlon, you need to train and what better way to set that training than to have a date set. Some goals are big with smaller steps, so think of them as mini goals. Where I’ve been working on my garden for two years now, every section of it has been steps towards that bigger goal, for which I’ve had (something) of a plan. Make those steps as small as you need too but have a goal; they give us direction, purpose and meaning and the all important, hope.
This is a tough one and for me, i think of it as a long term work in progress. Every tough experience i have, can result in all sorts of negative short term reaction, such as confidence, feelings of failure, self worth and so on but its all part of life. For me, to experience life, really means experiencing a range of emotions, and learning how to interpret those. I’m a big believer than when things don’t go to plan, your plans fail or things don’t go your way, and you blame yourself, its better to reflect and learn from the situation. That’s like a big personal guide to life that you write yourself and keep adding to, by reflecting and taking action to stop the repeated mistakes as you go. As you do, you become better at bouncing back from the inevitable difficulties in life. Action for happiness offers plenty of practical ideas such as planning ahead and reflecting back to help resilience. In short, expect things to go wrong, make mistakes but be smart, reflect and see them all as chances to learn and improve. I practice this through journaling and meditation and open conversations with trusted friends and colleagues about my problems, shame and experiences that leave me feeling a bit vulnerable.
This is a big one, we feel emotions and can’t always find the way to describe them or understand them even. Some good and tough times will affect our emotions in all sorts of ways. The truth is that we are natural problem solvers and focus on the things that appear wrong, problematic or negative (negativity bias). The good news is that we can train our ‘hunter gatherer' brain to notice what’s good around us. Action for happiness advise an evidenced based technique where you write down three things, however minor, that went well or that you felt gratitude for that day and repeat this for up to 2 weeks, and take note of how this affects your thinking. I tried this and now include it in a morning journal, where I note the previous days positives. Important to remember that some days we all let things slip, don’t beat yourself up, start the next day and carry on:-) . It works, and combining this with the other actions you take in the 10 keys makes it easy to create a positive cycle where you plan things to make yourself happier and then you reflect these back to yourself after. Find things to be grateful for; your health, your family, your neighbours, music, films, food on your table, water in your taps, clothes on your back, it can be anything.
I feel that I spent the first 35 or even more years of my life spending way too much time thinking about what others think of me, and not even realising that I was often fitting into a box that others expected of me. That is driven by shame, hiding feelings of vulnerability and being somewhat afraid of being yourself. As early in life as possible, its well worth spending time with yourself and supporting others to embrace the notion of being comfortable with who you are. Brene Brown has been the greatest influence on me personally around this issue, and from the day i saw her first TED talk’ the power of vulnerability (see below) it changed the way I think of the relationship between my self view and the restrictions I was putting on my own happiness. I am currently reading her book, Daring Greatly, which is so powerful in making you realise that ‘scarcity’ in society is rife, which can be seen as a sense of not being enough, is a modern scourge on our lives, leading us to unhealthy behaviours to try and attain ‘perfection’. Don’t. Practice self compassion, don’t compare yourself to others; instead compare yourself to you yesterday (I think I learnt this from the psychologist Jordan Peterson). Be aware of the positives and negatives of our selves and accept them, and practice an understanding that failure is almost and likely an essential part of life that crucially we can learn from; and not judge ourselves for it, but grow from it, being honest with ourselves and not burying it internally as shame. A great way to attack this is to think about a problem you create or something you messed up; what would you say to a friend who did the same? Likely you would be far less harsh and provide them with reassurance that its ok and help them learn from it. Try doing that to your self, that’s a big part of self compassion.
All of the previous 9 areas of the GREAT DREAM 10 keys help to create meaning in our lives. Think of meaning as the ‘why’ you are here in life, where you fit in and contribute to something bigger than you. I have a few personal values that I try to help guide me in life. When I asked myself what I wanted to make sure that I achieve in life, it was simple; I want to make sure I contribute more positive to this world and try to leave it better than when I joined it. That means that I want to be a better father to my son than my father was to me, help others out where I can because I can, be a good partner and make sure they feel valued, make sense of why I do what I do and be prepared to change things if I need to. I feel more connected to others, and feel much more comfortable reaching out for support on anything if i need it. Its a rich life and its up to us to respond positively and be the person we would want to be friends with. Not always easy but definitely something to aim for.
Thanks for reading and good luck.
Richie Andrew. 29th July 2022